Engaging and Connecting People in the Church and the Church in the Community
When we begin talking about being welcomed home, we begin to wrestle with what it means to be a part of a family. Then when we talk about being in a family, we have to relate to the qualities that make up a healthy family. We all ache for being in familial environments that are enriching and enjoyable. The problem comes when we realize that none of our families are perfect. They all reflect on one level or another, dysfunctions. Family and Marriage therapists list eight common dysfunctions that many families have developed:
1. Addiction
2. Perfectionism
3. Abuse
4. Dishonesty and Fear
5. Conditional Love
6. Lack of Boundaries
7. Lack of Intimacy
8. Poor Communication
You might want to consider if any, or several, of these dysfunctional patterns have found a place (even if only a small place) in your family relationships. I am afraid that these are more prevalent in our families than we would like to admit. I say that because they have all been evident since Genesis chapter 3 and for the rest of biblical history. Adam passively left his wife to fend for herself in the face of the tempters, questioning the veracity of God. Eve decided to take control of a situation that actually needed teamwork. Brothers became conflicted and one murdered the other… and things went downhill from there.
The church then gathers all of us together, from the midst of all our dysfunctions, and we expect that everything should be perfect, especially everyone else. The problem is that we can’t control our broken styles of relating and we hurt one another and we get hurt by one another. WOW!!! A recipe for disaster and disappointment. Into that, God offers us two things: First, His Son who offers Himself as the payment for forgiveness. Second, the Holy Spirit who can empower us to grow and live beyond our dysfunctions.
This fall, we are trying to discover the qualities of a healthy church, a functional church family and a growing and honoring network of relationships. I think that the things we are touching on can radically transform each one of us and, therefore, the church as a whole… if we will take them seriously. My prayer is that the new work that God has planned for us is built on these qualities.
Kevin