This Sunday, we will be wrapping up a three month (12 week) series on relationships that we called, The Struggle Is Real. I have been surprised, disappointed and stunned by how many people have commented to me that they can’t wait for this series to be finished. I didn’t know exactly what the problem was, so I inquired if the topic was boring and irrelevant to them. On the contrary, they shared that it was very relevant, but that it painfully rubbed up against a number of sore spots in various relationships in their lives. After a while they grew tired and irritated by the reminder of marital, family, workplace and church based relational conflicts that had not been reconciled between them and their spouse, their kids, their parents, their employees, their employers, leaders in our church and relationships with others in the body of Christ.
Actually I shouldn’t have been surprised, disappointed nor stunned at all because the truth is that in all these relationships the struggle is very real. At the core of our human existence is the deep set need and desire for relationships that are mutually beneficial and enriching. That’s what we look for in our marriages, in our families, in the workplace and with our neighbors. We desperately want to get along with others and have them get along with us. Unfortunately, we find ourselves at war with one another, experiencing skirmishes with those who ought to be our friends but end up taking pot shots at one another. We feel demeaned and devalued by those we work with. We treat people with contempt out of our shame… or we treat ourselves with contempt out of that same shame.
God has a radical solution to our relational problems. That solution is to let Him live His life through us so we can integrate both grace and truth in each and every situation we find ourselves in. He wants to reconfigure us and reposition us so that we can ‘submit ourselves to one another’ out of our deep love and respect for Him. When we love and respect Him we will be able to love and respect one another. We will find ourselves being able to freely offer gifts to each other that brings a freshness to our relationships:
- Husbands… you will be able to love your wives more unconditionally because you want to meet her biggest need.
- Wives… you will be able to respect your husbands more consistently because you understand that it brings life to the masculine soul.
- Parents… you will grow in your ability to give discipline and direction to your children in a manner that maximizes the unique design God has implanted in each of them.
- Children… you will understand that by respecting your parents you will develop a pattern inside you that will make life much more successful.
- Employers… you will see your employees for what they are, profoundly important with lives that matter as much as anyone else.
- Employees… you will develop a good-willed intension toward your employer and your job because you serve with a full heart from God.
Christian brothers and sisters… you will learn to detest the sin that ruins relationships and live for reconciliation and redemption.
Therefore, let’s not push away from the challenge of growing in our ability to relate to one another with mutually submissive hearts. We need to both yield to one another, while at the same time, we offer ourselves to one another. We need to stop resisting one another and stop hiding from one another. We need to go face to face with one another and start to understand one another. We need to seek the good for one another by having a good willed intension aimed at blessing one another. It is not easy… but that is why we need to be filled with the Holy Spirit in order to accomplish this critically important task of life.
Yours,
Kevin